At The Movies
The other day I went to the movies with my younger, very good looking girlfriend. When we were at the ticket counter, the clerk charged me for a senior ticket without asking me if I was a senior. Needless to say, I was a little shocked. I still have two hundred forty five days, two weeks, and five seconds left before I become a senior! I don't even know how he made that assumption since I was hidden underneath my big Tom Ford sunglasses, a fedora, my Desigual summer coat, and my AGL shoes! I think I looked less like a senior and more like a woman of fashion!
The word “Senior Citizen” has a negative connotation of “I'm old and I'm done.” When she charged me the senior price I swear, it made me feel like wrinkles were slipping out from beneath my sunglasses. I couldn't let it happen. I told her there was a mistake and I wanted to pay the difference since I was technically still young.
The people in the line behind us noticed the commotion in the front. While I was offering to pay the difference, the people in the line gathered in my favor and start shouting, “Don't pay her the difference! It was her mistake!” Obviously, they were all senior people supporting me! The line suddenly looked like a Cesar Chavez manifestation. And I thought, they’re right! Hell no! I’m not going to pay the two dollars more since my ego was bruised!
I decided that this would not prevent me from enjoying the movie with my good friend, but I went in thinking that I would definitely do something about this “Senior Citizen” title. You all need to know that in Spanish, it doesn't sound much better. It's called Personas De la Tercera Edad, which means people of the third age (eeew)! But imagine, we are living longer and I wonder if we should come out with a new classification after “Senior Citizen.” Especially now that people live easily up to 90 and over 100!
But you tell me if this crazy: in the same day, people will say to me that I am my daughter’s sister, my brother’s mother, my son's girlfriend, or somebody will think that I am a senior citizen. This makes no sense to me! Go figure!
I’m planning to collect signatures to change the ugly title of “Senior Citizen” and send them to the United States Congress. What about WISH, which stands for “Wow I'm Still Here”! And if not, what about these others like “I Might Be Sixty, But I Still Kick Ass” or “Cranky, But I Have Paid My Dues” or my personal favorite, “This Isn't My First Rodeo!” Any of these would be better than “Senior Citizen” or “Old-Timer.”
What do you think? Would you support me in this? Or do you have any suggestions for a different name? Let's unite and do something about this ugly “Senior Citizen” title. Are you with me?
Can you imagine if you are at the social security office and you hear the clerk calling “Can I have the ‘I Might Be Sixty But I Still Kick Ass’ in this line please!” Just picturing that makes me laugh. I'd love to hear from you.